Max, I'm not paying you to just stand there.
Well, you're not paying me to eat as many french fries as I can before the plate leaves the kitchen, but I do that too.
Go wait on that pretty girl.
Oh, wait. Is she a boy? She looks a little like a pretty boy.
She's probably looking at you and thinking the same thing.
But are you attracted to the girl she is or the boy she appears to be?
You're confused, aren't you, Han?
Yes, my mind tells me one thing, but my body tells me something else.
Max, go on break. I've got the booth.
Oh, no. You can't wait on her.
That's Tina, a lesbian who turns straight girls. I call her "Tina the turner."
Practically every heterosexual woman in Williamsburg has hooked up with her.
Not me. Who do you think turned her?
But you won't be able to resist her charm. Trust me.
That's nonsense. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality.
I once texted "Yes" to Mr. Chaz Bono on Dancing with the Stars.
Okay, good luck. Just don't let me catch you guys making out on the table.
Or do. It's a free country.
Hi, are you ready to order?
Sure. I love your hair, by the way.
Earl, Caroline's about to fall in love with a lesbian.
Well, color me "I saw that one coming."
How'd it go?
Fine, she complimented my hair, she ordered a soup, I gave her my number. I gave her my number?
Okay, hit the showers. That's what I get for sending a straight woman to do an emotionally dead woman's job.